


If You Say So

by dorkpatroller



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: M/M, Modern AU, Mourning, Some Fluff, there is no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-05
Updated: 2019-03-05
Packaged: 2019-11-12 08:45:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18007643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dorkpatroller/pseuds/dorkpatroller
Summary: Sometimes the process of mourning leaves us feeling more broken than we've ever been--and worst of all it's a very slow process.





	If You Say So

**Author's Note:**

> anyway either before you read or as soon as you're done reading go listen to this song because I always name fics after songs but this fic was legitimately based on it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yNVxwL8UGio

_ “You’ve reached Leo Vigarde. Leave a message. Except for you, Odin. You’ve lost your voicemail privileges.”  _

 

“Hey! How long has  _ that _ been in your voicemail? I’m offended! Anyway, where are you? That adoption agency called back and wanted to set up an appointment, and--oh, someone’s calling. Love-you-bye!” 

 

Odin pulls the phone away from his ear and he looks down at the screen. He's half expecting it to be Leo calling him back, but it's not. It's his brother. And that's odd. Odin thinks he gets along well enough with his brother-in-law, but they almost never talk on the phone. Even stranger is when he answers, there are a few seconds of silence. 

 

“Helloooo? Xander?” Odin asks. 

 

He was trying to get ahold of Leo because he wants to arrange that appointment. They’ve been researching different adoption agencies for a while. Leo said he had a good feeling about this one, and Odin has always been a firm believer that good feelings should be trusted. He’s not doing anything in particular right now, though. So while he waits for Xander to speak up--or maybe he butt-dialed him?--he wanders into the hallway and bends down to pick up the mail that was slipped through the letter slot in their door. 

 

He scoops it up and he’s about to dismiss the first item as a bill when Xander’s voice, unusually shakey, says _ “Leo is dead.” _

 

The first reaction Odin has is almost to laugh. It’s like a joke. But it’s not a joke because jokes are  _ funny _ , and Xander’s scary-serious voice isn’t. Odin drops his hand to his side, completely ignoring the letters while he shifts his phone from the crook of his neck and shoulder back into his hand. 

 

"What?" He asks. He stutters out a nervous noise. "Did Laslow put you up to this--" 

 

_ “I’ve just gotten off the phone with the hospital. There was an accident on the freeway. I suppose he hasn’t updated his next of kin since the wedding because they called me first. I’m going up there.”  _

 

“W-What?” Odin’s heart hammers in his chest. He can hear Xander talking, but what is he trying to say? Leo was in an accident. Is he okay? He said he was… But… “You’re… You’re sure it’s--it could be a mistake, maybe it’s... “ 

 

_ “Odin,”  _ Xander’s voice sounds choked up. Odin hasn’t heard it like that before… and he’s known Xander as long as he’s known Leo. Years. “ _ Should I pick you up?”  _

 

“No! No. I’m--I’ll meet you there. I’m… I’ll meet you there.” 

»»————- ♥ ————-««

 

"I'm not drinking this," Leo says. He looks miserable, all things considered, but Odin knows he isn't. There's a smile pulling at the corner of his lips. After the first two days at the beach, his sunburn faded. He didn't really tan so much as peel a little, but he's been in a better mood since then. And now they're seated under their own, big umbrella. It's a bright, sunshiny day. It's an Ylissean beach, and the waves are crashing romantically against the white sand while kids laugh and scream and play in the distance. 

 

Leo has a book held open against his chest, and his brow arched high. His sunglasses are pushed back into his hair and some of his bangs are caught behind them. Odin watches his eyes--like a walnut scented sunset--flicker between the drink Odin is offering him and Odin’s very own eyes. “It’s too strong.” 

 

"It doesn't taste at all like alcohol!" Odin's grin spreads wider, and so does Leo's. He's handsome. He sets aside his book, marks it absently with a marker, and then he leans forward to gently jab Odin's bare chest with his fingertip. Leo's chest isn't bare, he's got this white, essentially see-through short-sleeved button-down tucked into a pair of shorts. It's unbuttoned halfway down, and he certainly did that as some sort of belated wedding gift because he's not usually seen with that much of his chest exposed. Or maybe the spirit of the beach got to him. 

 

He’s not much for swimming, so he didn’t wear trunks today. He’s also not much for tanning. But he does enjoy the sun--slightly filtered by the umbrella--and the heat that comes down on his back while he reads outdoors. Odin enjoys it too! Even more than that, he enjoys laying in the sand  _ with Leo _ and reading together. 

 

He looks down at where Leo is jabbing his chest. Then he looks back up. “That’s the worst sort of too strong, Odin. If it doesn’t taste like alcohol then gods help us all.”

 

Odin laughs. He reaches for Leo’s hand and brings it to his lips to kiss over his knuckles. “Leo! It’s just  _ one _ drink.” 

 

"Well I'm never drinking again after Saturday," Leo says. He tries to look mad, but he's not. Odin's smile spreads out wider.

 

“It wasn’t  _ that _ bad.” 

 

“Oh? It wasn’t, you think? Because from what I can remember you--as your first act as my husband--let me make a fool of myself in front of everyone at the wedding.” 

 

“Hey! Niles was your best man--shouldn’t he hold some of this blame?” 

 

Leo snorts. “No! Once we’re  _ married _ he’s passed the torch. I was entirely in your care, and what did you let me do?” 

 

Odin laughs again. “It  _ wasn’t _ that bad.” 

 

"There's a video of it Odin. Niles already showed me. You've seen it too." 

 

“No man has ever looked more alluring doing the  _ Macarena.  _ And the DJ really had your back!” 

 

Leo rolls his eyes and takes the drink from Odin’s hand. It’s blended with ice, mostly coconut and mango and a  _ lot _ of rum. “Maybe I will have that drink,” Leo mutters, and he takes a slow, long sip. Then he passes it back to Odin as what Odin can only hope is a peace treaty. He takes a gulp too, bigger than Leo’s, but he sets the cup aside and leans forward. He’s a man on a mission, and he slots his lips together with Leo’s. Only a breath later Leo squawks against his lips. Then snorts. Then shakes his head and covers his mouth. 

 

“I’m sorry.” 

 

Odin cackles. 

 

“Your tongue was  _ cold! _ " Leo half sighs and half laugh-sobs… before finally, he pushes his fingers through his hair. They catch on the sunglasses, but he just drops them into the sand. "I don't want to go back." 

 

“To work?” 

 

“To Nohr,” Leo answers. “So soon, anyway. I wish… Ah, well. Vacations don’t last forever.” 

 

Odin shakes his head. He leans closer and kisses Leo again, this time without using any chilled weapons against him. Leo hums holds his face with one hand, and then Odin pulls his lips back only far enough to mutter against Leo's. "Vacations won't last, but the honeymoon phase can carry on forever." 

 

Leo closes his eyes and nods his head. “I love you, Odin,” He says.

 

“I love you more,” Odin hums.

 

Leo peeks an eye open. “If you say so, I suppose.” 

 

“What? You’re supposed to argue that you love  _ me _ more!” 

 

Leo rolls his eyes. “I see no point in arguing. And if we did argue, I would win.” 

 

Odin snorts. “ _ If you say so.” _

 

»»————- ♥ ————-««

 

There wasn’t a drunk driver. There wasn’t a scandal involved. Odin wants to be mad at someone else, at anyone else, but it wasn’t their fault. A car in front of Leo’s tire blew out, and Leo couldn’t stop in time. The driver and passenger in that car lived, and Odin  _ wants _ to be mad at them. How dare they live when Leo…

 

He died at the scene. Odin had to bring their wedding license, had to bring all sorts of ID, but they finally would talk to him and not just Xander about Leo’s accident. When he finally gave all this dumb paperwork just to  _ prove _ they could tell him, he didn't want to hear it. He was unconscious when they cut open the door and pulled him out. Battered, bruised, but alive. The men in the ambulance did their very best to keep him that way, but by the time they made it to the hospital, he was gone.

 

Odin wants to be mad at them, too. Maybe if they had worked a little harder. Maybe if they drove a little faster. Would Leo still be here?

 

But there’s no one for Odin to be mad at. He’s not really angry that the other people lived. He’s not really angry at the men who tried to save Leo’s life. But maybe he’s a little mad at himself. Why did he work through his lunch break that day? He could have taken it and called Leo. He used to call him at lunch every day, just to talk and say he loved him. And he didn’t today. 

 

That little detail wouldn’t have changed much. The smallest smile can lead to a chain of events that save the world, but Odin calling his husband at lunch wouldn’t have changed this. How could it? 

 

He settles onto the sofa in their living room. Their house is just outside town, in a suburb. Almost like a cottage, with a couple extra rooms because the knew they wanted one or two. 

 

If Odin had called Leo on his lunch break to talk to him about the agency, instead of waiting until after he got off work… Leo would have stopped what he was doing to get out his agenda. They would have spent a few minutes out of his day discussing when would be best to go visit. He would have asked Odin not to talk with his mouth full. Odin would have told him he loved him. Leo would say I love you too. Odin would say I love you more, and Leo, unwilling to argue as always, would say “If you say so.” 

 

It would have set Leo back at least five minutes in his work routine. Maybe he would have left the office five minutes later than he did. Maybe he wouldn’t have been behind that car. 

 

If Odin should be mad at anyone, perhaps it’s himself.

 

»»————- ♥ ————-««

 

“Odin!” Leo sputters. “Wh--What is--There’s a  _ dog _ in our sink?” He ends it as a question because he’s probably completely baffled. There’s a dog--something that big couldn’t possibly be a puppy, could it?--settled in the kitchen sink while Odin rinses the suds off of him. There’s a towel or two on the floor and a puddle of water, and Odin’s soaked down his entire front. He looks like he wet himself, but Leo knows better.

 

“O-Oh! You’re home early!” Odin says. He turns off the sink’s water and sets the sprayer back into place. “Then allow me to… introduce…” He grunts. He picks up the dog from the sink and settles him down on the floor. “Sir Douglas the Hero Dog!” 

 

Not a breath after he finishes saying it, the sheepdog shakes out his fur and water goes  _ everywhere.  _ Leo gasps again and Odin yelps and dives to cover the dog with one of the towels. He succeeds in wrapping him up, and then he’s just…

 

There. He’s just sitting there on the floor with a dog. “You bought a dog?” 

 

“Not exactly!” Odin answers. He starts scrubbing the dog’s fur with the towel. “You see, we discussed getting a dog.” 

 

“Yes, we did, and we said that we wanted to choose one that would be easy to maintain and good with children, and I assumed we would choose  _ together.”  _

 

“Right! An assumption I also made. But then today while I was walking I bumped into  _ this _ dog. And I gave him the last bit of my breakfast burrito because he seemed hungry, and--” 

 

“Please tell me you didn’t bring a stray dog into our house.” 

 

"--and then a man jumped out from the alley and told me to give him my wallet! And I was about to when Sir Douglas leaped from the remains of the burrito and began to growl, and the man fled!" 

 

"Wh," Leo starts. Odin doesn't even let him interrupt, though. He just keeps talking like he hasn't just said something earth-shattering. 

 

“Naturally I knew this to be a work of fate, so I took him to the vet to see if he’s been microchipped. The vet told me he hasn’t been, and he’s only about eight months old! He’s a big puppy! And in good health, and so now he’s had all his vaccines--he wasn’t even afraid of the needles--and he’s had a good bath, and he’s ours!” 

 

“Odin.” Leo puts out his hands and pulls Odin up to his feet. When they’re standing like that, hands held together, it’s like the day they were married almost. Leo looks just slightly up at Odin and Odin smiles at him eagerly. 

 

“Are you mad?” 

 

“Are you crazy?” Leo asks. “Of course I’m mad. Our kitchen is a disaster and that dog is going to grow to be the size of a small horse. But you’re telling me you were  _ mugged? _ Did you mean to glaze right over that part of the story? Are you alright--were you hurt?” 

 

"Oh. No, I'm fine. I'm not convinced he was actually armed, and as I said, Sir Douglas came to my rescue." 

 

Leo wraps his arms around Odin’s neck in a slow, smooth motion. He takes in a deep breath and then pushes off of the platforms of his feet to kiss Odin’s temple. He’s quiet there. Once he’s through with that kiss he just  _ hugs him _ for a few seconds, and then when he’s finally through he steps back and picks up a towel to start cleaning up the water. 

 

Odin sways. “Leo?” He asks. “Are you alright?” 

 

“I’ll always be alright if you are,” He answers. “So. Douglas?” 

 

“The street where we met!” 

 

“I see,” Leo smiles while he picks up the soaked towel and tosses it into the sink. The dog sits patiently at their side. “Sir Douglas. Well, if he really saved your life then I owe him mine. And he’s… a little cute. I think I would have picked something else, but…” He glances up at Odin and chuckles. “Such are the whims of fate?” 

 

Odin nearly slips in his efforts to kiss Leo again.

 

»»————- ♥ ————-««

 

_ “You’ve reached Leo Vigarde. Leave a message. Except for you, Odin. You’ve lost your voicemail privileges.”  _

 

Odin is balled up in the sheets of their bed. Leo’s side still smells like him, his pillow and his blankets. It’s only been a week. Odin hasn’t showered. He hasn’t eaten much. He’s barely had the energy to get up and feed the dog. He took some time off work--they were very understanding. 

 

People keep calling him. His mother, to check on him. She’s worried. Laslow has called three times begging Odin to pick up the phone. He’s getting calls from some business relationships already asking for a copy of the death certificate so that they can process it. One of them Odin made the mistake of picking up the phone for. She was nice. She told him what steps he would need to take. She suggested rolling Leo’s retirement and life insurance into a different sort of investment, one in Odin’s name. 

 

Odin doesn’t want Leo’s accounts to be in his name. He wants Leo. 

 

His coworkers sent a hundred cards by now. Odin’s and Leo’s, actually. Someone sent flowers, the same sort that they had at their wedding. Niles sent him a few texts here or there, offering to do anything he could. But they’ve been friends for so long. Seeing Niles would hurt. Odin can’t remember a time he ever saw Niles without Leo tagging right behind him. 

 

Seeing anyone would hurt. So when Odin looks at his phone he ignores those text messages. Instead, he just pushes the call button one more time.

 

_ “You’ve reached Leo Vigarde. Leave a message. Except for you, Odin. You’ve lost your voicemail privileges.”  _

 

He's not supposed to leave a voicemail. Partly because of Leo's silly complaint, but partly because there's no point. Leo will never hear it. He's gone. And still, with a sob, he whispers quietly into the phone after the beep. 

 

“Come back. Please come back.” 

 

»»————- ♥ ————-««

 

The rain is beating down outside. It’s storming. Odin is afraid of the claps of thunder and lightning, but he nearly forgets about them when he’s tucked away so safely like this. The fireplace in their home isn’t huge, but it’s warm on chilly, rainy days like this. The fire is crackling away and they’re laying on a pile of pillows and blankets that Odin purposefully crafted into a fort to keep them safe. Leo tells him that when you lay on top of it, it’s more of a nest than a fort. 

 

Either way, it’s safe and sound. He’s curled up under one blanket. The fire is close enough that it’s toasty and warm. There’s cocoa in mugs settled on the brick step of the hearth. Sir Douglas is curled up on Odin’s legs with his chin hooked over him. 

 

Odin's head is on Leo's lap. He has his eyes closed but he's not sleeping. He's listening with great attention to his husband while he reads. They've read this book together before. Several times, actually. This book is one of Odin's favorites. He read it often as a kid, then he practically begged Leo to read it when they were in high school. 

 

It’s an adventure! But underneath that, it’s also a romance. It’s soothing to listen to Leo read it aloud to him. It chases away the storm. But he opens his eyes when Leo sets the book aside for a moment and cups the underside of Odin’s chin with his hand. 

 

“Is this really what you want, Odin?” 

 

Odin tilts his head back deeper into Leo’s lap so he can look up into his eyes. He loves Leo’s eyes so much. Deep, rich, soothing. The firelight highlights them in a romantic, magical way. “What do you mean?” 

 

“For our anniversary. You’re alright with spending it here?” 

 

Oh. Odin squirms so he can turn onto his belly. He hugs Leo around his waist and nods his head. “Any day spent here with you is a good day,” he promises. “Are… you alright with spending our anniversary here?” 

 

Leo combs his fingers through the short ends of Odin’s hair. “Yes,” He answers. He leans down until their noses dip together, and then he kisses the apple of Odin’s cheek. Odin settles back down into Leo’s lap and they resume reading. The dog settles down again.

 

Odin will make sure to do something for Leo to make up for this. Surely he would rather go out and do something, but Odin's anxiety is always through the roof when it storms. But for now, he enjoys the way that his husband spoils him. 

 

A chapter passes. Leo stops to take a sip of his cocoa. Odin watches him. “When we have children, will you read to them?” He asks. Leo chokes on the cocoa he’s swallowing, but when he clears his throat he nods his head. 

 

“I suppose so. Shouldn’t I?” 

 

“I think they’ll love that,” Odin says. “Maybe you can read them this very book. We can pass it down, like a tale of our love.” 

 

"This book isn't the tale of our love," Leo says. He rolls his eyes… and then he ruffles Odin's hair. "When we have children I want to read with them. Here, by this fire, with you. And Douglas too, I suppose." 

 

“Of course! Sir Douglas is part of our family too! I think it could be perfect. You, me, a couple of children, our hero dog, and this house in the suburbs. It will be our adventure.” 

 

Leo bends down and kisses Odin’s forehead. “Yes, it will. I love you.” 

 

“I love you more.” 

 

"Oh, Odin," Leo hums. He trails his fingers along Odin's jaw and taps his cheek playfully. "If you  _ say _ so.” 

 

»»————- ♥ ————-«

 

_ “You’ve reached Leo Vigarde. Leave a message. Except for you, Odin. You’ve lost your voicemail privileges.”  _

 

“Leo,” Odin whispers to his voicemail. “Can you die of a broken heart?” 


End file.
